Video game revisionism!

Yep. Smartass kids can always get me to laugh when almost nothing else works. Take these six youngsters, ages 10 to 13, who are asked to play, and then comment on, a selection of vintage Atari, NES and Genesis videogames by the dudes at gaming site 1up.com.

They play Mike Tyson's Punch Out! (NES, 1987):

Anthony: If Mike Tyson was in this game, his special move would be to bite people's ears. Then he'd be all gloating about it, but then the sound's all low because you can't hear him because your ears are gone. [Points at the next opponent, Von Kaiser] That's Mike Tyson, and he's trying to bite off your ear.

Garret: That's not Mike Tyson. Are you kidding me? Mike Tyson does not have a handlebar moustache, and he's not white.

EGM: [Laughing] So those are the two things that make you think that's not Mike Tyson?

Garret: Yeah, plus this guy's wearing pants.

That's pretty awesome. Check out this bewilderment, documented while playing the 1981 arcade version of Galaga:

EGM: Now imagine you've reached the 10th stage, and you're on your last
life. Once you die and you put another quarter in, you don't just continue from there-you start all over.

Parker: Are you serious?

EGM: Yup. When you lose all your lives, you have to start over. You don't keep going.

Parker: And you guys back then were OK with this?

Priceless! The original Child's Play post had me chuckling for days, way back in 2003. The kids started with the 1975 Sears/Atari home console version of Pong. (Lisa and I own one of these classics; it's currently collecting dust in the barn out behind our house.)

My all time favorite quote?

Tim: My line is so beating the heck out of your stupid line. Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops.

John: Tim, how could you miss that? It was going like 1 m.p.h.

Heh. I do believe there's hope for the future.

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